


burned the disco down

by maple (leeyoobin)



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, a character study with feelings, established poly singjibo, fallen star minji, lots and lots of space references, nonbinary minji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26593702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeyoobin/pseuds/maple
Summary: following minji feels like following polaris.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU, Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon, Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 12
Kudos: 109
Collections: DreamCatcher Taylor Swift Ficfest 2k20





	burned the disco down

**Author's Note:**

> catch me finishing this second fic for the ficfest at literally the last minute. honestly i have no idea what this is. it started from a couple of vivid mental images and i just built it around that.
> 
> the song is "mirrorball" from folklore, and i think i kind of followed this one a bit more than the other fic i wrote for the fest. either way, i hope you enjoy it and any feedback is appreciated!

_hush_   
_when no one is around, my dear_   
_you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes_   
_spinning in my highest heels, love_   
_shining just for you_   
_hush_   
_i know they said the end is near_   
_but i'm still on my tallest tiptoes_   
_spinning in my highest heels, love_   
_shining just for you_

* * *

“no, i’m serious! i fell out of the sky!”

minji sits on the couch, leaning most of their weight on the armrest. their cheeks are ruddy with the alcohol hot beneath their skin, a mostly empty glass of whatever-siyeon-felt-like-mixing in their hand. and bora sighs and nods, “okay, honey. i think we should get you to bed though.” she knows that minji feels so much, and that the breaking point is low for the amount of pressure likely building. she doesn’t like to see minji cry, so sleep is the best way to prevent that from happening.

“siyeon...do you believe me?” minji asks, and there’s a sort of desperation in their voice that makes bora pause.

she glances at siyeon, who’s always introspective when she’s tipsy but looks particularly overwhelmed by thoughts now. in a less confusing, serious moment it would remind bora of that time they went to their 9 am philosophy lecture together while siyeon was still coasting on the weed brownies from the night before. “so...you’re saying you...are a fallen star? in a human body?” 

“yes. i fell and burned up in the atmosphere and when i hit the ground this body is what was left,” minji nods enthusiastically, taking siyeon’s confused half-sober questions as confirmation in her belief, “i just...i didn’t know what else to do. what else _was_ there to do besides pretend to be a human? i’ve been watching you all from the sky so long that it wasn’t hard to make myself fit in…”

bora swallows thickly, because even if she doesn’t believe this, minji certainly seems to, and bora can’t help but wonder how heavy siyeon’s pour in minji’s drink was. she helps her partner to their feet, balancing minji against her shoulder despite their height difference. “come on. bedtime. we can talk more about this in the morning.”

and then there’s the crying. bora hears minji sniffle and there’s something thick and so _sad_ about their voice when they speak, “you...don’t believe me…”

“it’s a little hard to believe,” siyeon admits sheepishly, trying to orient herself and remember how to not trip over her own feet so she can comfort minji. 

“i’ll show you,” minji says though, before siyeon can fully cup the curve of their cheek and sweep away the tears, before bora can help them to bed to tuck them in to sleep off the alcohol induced sadness.

bora gently reaches for them, “baby--”

“i’ll show you,” minji repeats, stepping out of reach, palms spreading open and eyes falling closed. the following spark of energy is invisible but it rips through bora and siyeon and minji themself in a way that’s dizzying and disorienting.

everything seems to glow and grow dark all at once, and the space near the living room ceiling blazes alight with handfuls of tiny, perfect stars.

* * *

there’s a blue bendy straw in minji’s strawberry lemonade, and they chew on it thoughtfully as they look over their notes for their upper level marine biology class. bora casts a glance at the neat text on the paper, written in a precise gel pen rainbow, and decides that no matter how beautiful it looks it’s never going to make complete sense to her.

maybe that’s a direct reflection of how she sees minji. especially lately.

“hey honey,” bora says and sits next to minji, leaning into their shoulder. minji doesn’t even seem to think before their arm wraps around bora’s shoulders, skin warm and soft but hiding strong muscle beneath that bora can faintly feel against the top of her spine.

“did you come to distract me?” minji asks, but it’s gentle, a soft smile on their lips.

and bora smiles back before bitting at her lower lip, “hm...maybe a little.”

minji’s mouth spreads into a brighter grin, the mole on their upper lip a pin on a map of exactly where bora wants to kiss. so she does, leaning in and tasting the sweet splash of strawberry and the tang of lemonade that makes her mouth buzz. she can feel minji’s smile in the kiss, can taste it against her lips.

“i guess i’m not gonna complain,” minji admits when they pull back. their strong hand rests on bora’s cheek and bora can map out the mountain range of her knuckles, the estuaries of her veins. she could focus on those hands for hours.

but she’s been thinking a lot since minji revealed the truth a few weeks ago. it’s settled into her bones but she can still feel the knowledge very present under her skin, and she can’t quite shake it. “why biology? don’t you...know all of this already?”

minji has taught her a lot, really. bora didn’t know about the spectrum of gender until minji, how someone could exist in the grey spaces, but now minji’s _i just don’t really feel like i align with any sort of gender at all. or maybe i just fit all of them at once_ doesn’t seem complicated at all. it just makes sense with who they are, the way they’re vaguely omnipresent and understand things on a level that bora is okay with not being able to keep up with.

“there’s only so much you can learn from observing from that far away,” minji replies. 

bora nods thoughtfully, “that makes sense, i guess.”

“like, for example, we’re studying sharks and rays right now. i didn’t really know about those. and that’s ironic, isn’t it? the ocean and space are like sisters, so vast and misunderstood, equally capable of destruction and rebirth. but i don’t understand the ocean at all. isn’t that exciting?” 

there’s a light to minji’s eyes that bora recognizes now isn’t human. she can see entire galaxies in the deep space of their pupils, and they shift and glimmer in minji’s enthusiasm. bora smiles back, letting herself fall in, drifting millions of miles into the abyss with minji herself as her only tether to earth. “yeah, it is exciting. everything is exciting with you.”

“oh, hush. so damn cheesy,” minji huffs, rolling their eyes.

it feels like turning the entire universe on its head, watching the stars there move. bora smiles at her softly, “why do you still seem surprised after so long?”

“because you’re always so fascinating to me. you and siyeon both,” minji shrugs. they kiss bora’s temple and their fingers dance ballet along her upper arm, “but unfortunately this mortal existence means i have to study, so if you want to stay with me while i do that maybe after we can go save siyeon from work and pretend to need help finding something just to get her away from the customer service desk for a while.”

and bora laughs, “sounds perfect.”

but everything does, doesn’t it? following minji feels like following polaris, and as reckless as it is, bora doesn’t quite care about the final destination.

* * *

bora is sitting in bed with a book, just attempting to unwind after a long day. next to her, siyeon plays pokemon on her switch, mumbling under her breath as she battles someone bora figures must be important. the shower runs behind the closed bathroom door, and bora can faintly hear minji singing to themself behind the steady beat of the water. 

it feels peaceful, and she smiles softly when siyeon sets the switch aside and comes closer. she looks down at bora with a particular glimmer in her eyes, and bora looks up at her, lips tugging upwards more, “what?”

“you’re wearing the big hoodie,” siyeon replies.

and bora rolls her eyes playfully but lifts her arms. and siyeon immediately lifts the hoodie and basically climbs under it, all the way up to rest her head against bora’s bare chest beneath the fabric. “this is so weird. you realize that, right? it’s like you’re trying to make yourself a cocoon.”

“and i’ll come out of it a beautiful butterfly. now shut up.”

bora laughs softly but relaxes into it. siyeon’s hand is warm against her side, settling perfectly into the furrow of her hipbone and her waist. her cheek is almost too hot against bora’s chest, but not quite, and though her body does respond a bit to siyeon’s soft, warm breath against the curve of her breast, it’s not something she can’t set aside. 

“do you think this is _really_ real? or are we having like...a collective fever dream?” siyeon asks bora softly, muffled under the fabric.

bora pulls her attention away from her book again, “hm?”

“the thing with minji. is that really _real_? i was reading this thing about entire families who just go insane together for no real reason and i’m wondering if maybe that’s happening to us. because sometimes it just feels so crazy, you know?”

and bora sets the paperback aside. she slips her hand under her own hoodie to run down siyeon’s bare back, tracing each vertebrae in her spine with the same reverence, “well...either we’re crazy or we’re not. i like to think we’re not.”

“i guess even if we are it’s a mutual thing, at least.” siyeon nods.

“there’s no one else i would rather lose my mind with,” bora replies.

“pinky promise?”

she blindly reaches out her hand and bora finds it and links their pinkies, touching her thumb to siyeon’s to seal the deal. siyeon makes a content sound, and bora continues to stroke her back, “are you done forming in there, butterfly?”

“nope. i’m here forever. too comfy.”

bora scoffs a bit and brings her hand around to poke at siyeon’s armpit. siyeon squeals, squirming out from under the hoodie, and it quickly dissolves into a fight. a mess of fingers traipsing over stomachs and sides and ribs, both of them laughing until they’re flushed and breathlessly dizzy as they fall back on the bed. she can feel siyeon’s hair brushing against her neck and her breaths are hot and a bit shaky with the echoes of laughter, and it feels good. 

the shower turns off and bora knows minji will be in to join them soon, wet hair and warm skin, ready for sleep. and maybe they are a fallen star. maybe siyeon is right and this is just a shared delusion, some sort of never ending drug haze they’ve stumbled into together. but either way bora is _happy_ so she focuses on that. nothing else matters in the moment.

* * *

when bora was younger her brother told her once that acknowledging her happiness towards something could cause her to lose it. back then she had rolled her eyes and told him he was depressing, pushing it off as some sort of stupid, macho bullshit. he also told her cats could steal her soul and crossing her eyes would get them stuck that way, so it’s not like he was ever really trustworthy about these things.

so she doesn’t know how to feel about him being right this time.

things are beautiful and perfect, and then one week minji falls away from them the same way they fell to earth. they don’t kiss them anymore and their presence in bed is stiff and cold, just a body existing under the same sheets. it’s sudden, a wave crashing over their heads and tearing down their home with it. 

siyeon glances at her across quiet kitchen tables with _what happened, unnie_? in her eyes, a plea for bora to help her understand. they brush past each other and the tension sparks between them like static. the air in their off campus apartment feels like the moments before a tornado, when things fall chillingly silent and the clouds billow in a shade of gilded green.

“minji...every time we ask you if you’re okay you say yes but it’s getting hard to believe,” bora says finally, after eight days of waiting for the storm to either hit hard or clear away, unable to live in the tense suspense any longer.

and minji just sighs. they stab at their food with their fork but make no real effort to eat it, “i’m just having a hard time. but it’s nothing to do with you two. it’s just...been rough.”

“do you want to talk about it?” siyeon asks carefully.

and minji pauses, “maybe eventually. right now i just...i don’t think i even know for sure what it is.”

as someone who struggles to voice her emotions, bora understands that difficulty with accessing vulnerability. as someone with control issues, not knowing and being able to _fix_ it makes her so stressed her stomach turns and the food she did manage to eat protests inside. “well...i love you. and i’m here if you figure it out.”

siyeon nods in agreement, “yeah, we both love you a lot. and we’re here for you.”

“i love you too,” minji says, and bora clings to that so tightly she thinks it could burn her fingers.

* * *

bora considers herself, minji, and siyeon equals in this relationship. they’re three parts of a whole, but they can all function as individuals or in pairs just as well. it’s important to her, taken months of deep conversation and patience to foster a healthy dynamic. so she feels awful for eavesdropping, she really does. 

but the sadness in minji’s voice hits her before the words do, and she lingers just out of sight of siyeon’s bedroom doorway like a spirit in the shadows.

“i just...sometimes i want to go _home_ , siyeon.”

“but...you’re home here with us…” siyeon replies, and bora doesn’t need to see her to know that she must look lost. there’s something about her eyes when she doesn’t know how to heal a wound, a fear of blood that only siyeon herself can see. 

there’s a pause, a rustle of sheets. likely minji shifting where they sit on siyeon’s bed to lay back against it, “i know but just...sometimes it hurts, still. i still carry the weight of the universe inside of me and i have nowhere for it to go...it’s so heavy sometimes, singnie.”

and siyeon swallows thickly. bora can hear it in her voice like the words have solidified in her throat, “why...did you fall?”

“it was just time. but i don’t think i was ready,” minji replies all raw and torn open like a wilted garden destroyed by a summer storm. “i really don’t think i was ready.”

another pause. bora hears the shift, knows siyeon has pulled minji into her arms because she’s better at physical comfort than verbal. the tears make siyeon’s words rough when she murmurs, “i’m sorry...i love you...i’m sorry.” it’s like a prayer, a plea to whatever deity may be listening in the vast universe to heal the wounds.

“it’s okay,” minji replies, but it really feels like it isn’t.

bora aches to go help, but something holds her back. she feels like a ghost in her own home, half-faded and longing but unable to reach out.

* * *

“what if they leave?” siyeon asks one evening. minji is pulling what will likely turn into an all nighter in the library. siyeon lays on the couch and looks up at bora with her whole expression a bruise, “i know you heard. i could tell you were listening the other night.”

and bora sighs, rubbing at her temples from where she sits all curled up in the armchair, “leave and go where?”

“back home, or whatever,” siyeon replies. the nerves and the hurt and the fear of loss are there. bora isn’t quite sure how to bandage those wounds properly. it feels like the kind of thing that she can’t fix but they can’t afford the hospital bills for the fallout.

she presses her lips into what she hopes is a reassuring expression, “i don’t think that’s how it works, babe. things are hard right now but they also have finals so i think once that’s over they’ll feel a little better. we just need to be supportive while they go through a hard time.”

“i know you’re right it just...scares me. like...we’re only human. what if that isn’t good enough?”

months ago bora never considered her humanity a fault in her relationship. she never thought that being _human_ would be some sort of detriment. she sighs again, sadder this time, “it will be.”

“what if it _isn’t_?”

“then you and i will always have each other,” bora replies. it’s the only comfort she can provide, and it feels like choking up little pieces of her heart that have broken off at the realization it could be a possibility.

a long pause, and siyeon nods, “...okay.”

it isn’t okay, and bora knows it. but she gets siyeon into bed and in the quiet bedroom she makes love to her to distract her from it. neither of them are really in the proper emotional state, but they’re desperate for connection. their kisses taste like need and fear and love and confusion, all at once, almost overwhelming. she lets siyeon’s hands wander but doesn’t let them linger too long, entirely focused on trying to help her work her sadness out.

it’s messy but that doesn’t matter. siyeon’s breaths shake with soft whines of bora’s name and she’s still wet when bora touches her. and the way bora’s three fingers curl deep inside of siyeon while the moonlight strokes over the marks on her throat and highlights the tears on her cheeks is a promise of forever, even if it’s just the two of them.

* * *

_we’re only human, what if that isn’t good enough?_

siyeon’s question lingers in bora’s head endlessly all night and the next day as she goes to class and then to her job at the campus bookstore. it follows her on her walk home. and that night when she goes for a drive to clear her head she can feel it present in the back seat, hiding just in time every time she glances in the rearview mirror.

ever since they found each other, she’s always pictured their future as the three of them. nothing ever felt insurmountable and scary. even minji revealing themself as a fallen star was somehow manageable, as insane as it was. but now she’s just haunted by it. 

minji who glows when they’re happy, a literal beacon of light now that they no longer has to hide it. minji who can create tiny galaxies in their bedroom and beckon shooting stars across their skin when they’re intimate. minji who carries stardust in their lungs and space in their bone marrow, fire in their fingertips and eons and lightyears of knowledge and experience in their head that bora and siyeon will never understand.

and now they want to go _home_.

bora never really considered that might mean different things. never considered that she’s been following minji like the north star itself when minji was really just running away. 

she drives and drives until she isn’t entirely sure where she is, no longer capable of keeping herself from getting lost.

bora sits idling in a left turn lane for what feels like hours, the stoplight like a neon red eye in the almost-midnight sky, seemingly never turning green. and she wonders how the car isn’t able to trigger the sensor when her heart feels so goddamn heavy in her chest.

* * *

“come on, siyeon, dance with me!”

finals are over, and they’re all a little drunk. bora is aware that’s a bad idea with the current state of things, but she’s tired of being responsible all the time. the screwdriver she’s sipping on helps quiet her head and that’s good enough for now.

minji seems bright again, turning up the music playing over siyeon’s speaker on the coffee table. but bora can see the normal flush of their cheeks, the way the stars in their eyes seem obstructed by the dust of a nebula, colorful but blurring together. 

“really?” siyeon asks, and the response is minji taking her hands, pulling her more into the living room and nearly tripping over the rug before guiding her into an upbeat, bouncy dance. 

and siyeon seems so relieved at the spark of happiness she lets it happen. she twirls and bounces around with minji and they don’t follow the beat at all, but they’re both laughing. minji catches her eye at one point, “what are you waiting for, hottie? you’re literally a dance major. come show us how it’s done.”

bora is so fucking tired of being sad that she does it. doesn’t question if this is temporary, or what it means. she sets her drink on the end table and gets up and dances with them, not caring how it looks or if it even counts as real dancing. they’re all laughing and singing along and the rush in bora’s head makes her feel like she’s floating.

they’re all flustered and a bit sweaty and breathing hard between giggles. she pulls siyeon in to sway to a slower song, and as they do, minji twirls aimlessly to the music. they’re wearing heels for a reason bora isn’t quite sure of, laughing as they spin in circles like a planet in orbit.

but eventually it falters, the beauty of minji’s laughter in rotation slowing and falling away.

dizzily, they fall to the floor, and somehow it’s graceful in its messiness. they lay back on the rug and bora can see the tears on their cheeks. she swallows thickly around the lump in her throat and lays down next to minji, and siyeon follows suit, cramming in between their fallen star and the edge of the coffee table leg on the floor.

“minji?” bora asks gently.

minji sniffles, “i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay. we know you’re homesick,” bora soothes, “we understand.”

and they don’t, but sometimes lying is better. sometimes it’s important to muffle the truth.

but minji shakes their head, “it isn’t fair to you both. i know...i know it must hurt for me to want something so badly that neither of you can give me. and i know it must make you feel like you aren’t good enough.”

“we just want you to be happy,” siyeon says. she reaches out and pinches the back of minji’s hand gently, and bora wonders who she’s trying to keep grounded.

minji sobs softly, the tears dripping down their cheeks and leaving their purple hair wet. bora thinks she can see stardust captured even in the wetness on minji’s cheeks, tiny shimmers of silver against their flushed skin. “i am...you make me so happy. i don’t know how i can be so happy and so sad all at once.”

“i don’t know either. but we’re here. we’re here and we always will be,” bora promises. 

and minji nods and closes their eyes, quietly crying for a moment. their voice is raw, the vocalization of vulnerability, “do you want to see it?”

“see what?” siyeon asks softly.

“what it looked like, when i was up there.”

and bora feels her heart swell in her chest, “if you want to show us.”

minji gently frees their hand from siyeon’s. their palms glow a beautiful blue and the stars fall from their fingertips like water. minji arranges them perfectly, allowing them to drift up so they spin in the air above the three of them. bora feels as though the floor no longer exists, as though she has fallen into the very abyss of space itself. they float together, and the stars and nebulas spin slowly above them, burning with life.

“it’s beautiful,” she says softly, thunderstruck and numb with awe.

it’s easy to picture minji in this glowing landscape, a perfect star burning and bright.

“it feels good...to experience it with you,” minji replies. they find siyeon’s hand again and now bora’s too, holding tight. 

siyeon’s voice is thick with tears as well, “i feel like i could fall right in.”

bora is inclined to agree. the three of them lie there together, wordless but somehow still communicating. she isn’t sure whether she believes in souls but somehow in that moment they all feel very connected, small but also incredibly significant under minji’s perfect sky. 

* * *

“you didn’t have to do this.”

minji sits on the railing of the deck, looking with fascination at the sky. they’re far out from the city, and the stars shine so much brighter here, an entire universe blazing above them. 

“i know. but we wanted to, in case it helps,” bora shrugs. and then she adds, “it was siyeon’s idea. i just booked the airbnb.”

she watches minji as they study the sky and bora figures maybe they’re looking for old friends, still there in the endless, vast universe. it’s odd to consider, but also makes her feel so overwhelmed with love for minji. the fact that they’re here with her and siyeon is all luck, all circumstance. bora is so grateful they crossed paths at the same time.

minji slips down from the railing, a smile on their face that’s small but feels very significant. “come inside?”

“you don’t wanna stay out here?” siyeon asks.

and minji tilts their head to the side, “doesn’t the bedroom have a skylight?”

“yeah it does--” bora starts, and then the realization hits. “ _oh_.”

minji’s grin grows a little less innocent and they pull both of them inside. bora is glad the bed is big and they’re in the middle of nowhere. the skylight is open to let in the light of the night sky, and it bathes everything in a silvery glow that feels inhuman, in a way that comforts her because it reminds her so much of minji.

their hands wander and the kisses taste like stardust, a flavor she recognizes well now since it always clings to minji’s tongue. the room grows brighter at some point and bora knows minji has allowed some of their own stars drift to the ceiling. she also knows it isn’t on purpose, that it’s an instinctive reaction to the way bora pulls them in to grind against her thigh while siyeon kisses their neck and down along their spine. she knows that it means they’ve made minji feel so loved that the only way their body knows how to react is to create a galaxy.

at some point she ends up halfway on her side, siyeon making her thighs shake with her head between her legs, while bora’s own fingers press deep into minji’s tight cunt over and over. some of the stars fall from the ceiling and land in the bed, warm fragments of light illuminating the way they move together.

and when they slump together ages later, all exhausted and sensitive and still a bit shaky, the same stars shift in the sheets and cling to their skin. minji is in the middle and they gather some on their fingertips, tracing them along bora’s thighs and across siyeon’s stomach. 

“maybe i’m not as far from home as i thought,” they say eventually, in the sleepy haze where bora and siyeon are both barely awake.

 _maybe i’m not either_ , bora thinks. 

the north star in her heart beats in agreement, whispering steadily.

_here. here. here._

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading. feel free to follow me on twitter @firelordsiyeon or send me a message @ http://curiouscat.me/lilacyoobin


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